NOVEMBER IS THE WEAKEST MONTH
I had to go out to Langley today. Driving back, through the rainy darkness with no headlights (broken), I was overcome by the urgent need to piss. (Too much coffee.)
Traffic was about 15kph on the highway, and I knew I wasn’t going to make it home in time, so I took an exit in New West and looked for a McDonalds or Tim Hortons or something. Nothing but car dealerships. The sense of imminent release, the jerking stagger of traffic, the poor visibility due to the rain and the afforementioned lack of headlights, it was all rising in a horrible pissy crescendo.
Finally I pulled into the parking lot of Ikea and urinated against a chain-link fence, standing in the rain, facing the highway.
It lasted about five minutes, and was so good that I moaned.
November: D-
Public urination: A+