THE WAR AGAINST CHRISTMAS: IS IT A QUAGMIRE?
Reasonable people have come to the conclusion that the war against christmas is unwinnable. We must pull out, cut and run, let the terrorists win, and give timetables for breaking Christmas without buying it. We must end this campaign before more innocent people are wished “Merry Christmas” OH GOD PLEASE WHY.
Certain lunatics see themselves as righteous defenders of (the word) Christmas. Yet they seem immune to the irony of using “Merry Christmas” as a synonym for “Fuck you.” Thus does the dreadful logic of escalation lead us inevitably to subvert the very values which we claim to defend. War is hell, my friends.
One of the cultural values that Christmas represents is the power of belief. I saw Polar Express in 3D at the IMAX on Friday. It was part of the office christmas festivities, and I felt like I should participate, and it actually wasn’t bad. The animation was nice, but the message of the film bothered me, that there is something flawed and morally weak about doubting. The character arc of this genre is familar: child on the cusp of puberty begins as a sullen skeptic, doubting the existence of Santa. The child goes on a magical journey to learn that if you only believe with all your heart, you can MAKE THINGS TRUE, and see (or hear) what is hidden from the skeptic.
In Polar Express, this journey ends when Santa Claus arrives on the scene. The boy cannot hear the jingle bells jingling. Shaking the bells as hard as he can, no sound comes out. But he’s the only one who can’t hear; everyone else seems to hear them just fine. There must be something wrong with him. He convinces himself that he can hear the bells after all, and that they make the most beautiful sound ever. This is considered a moral redemption and he is rewarded by receiving a personal gift from Santa(/God).
For some, this is a laudable way of forming beliefs. For myself and others, not so much. We believe that skepticism is valuable, and that doubt should be rewarded as much as beliefs created by the need to be a member a club, or to acquire some other good which supercedes the good of believing truth.
Haha just kidding. Merry Christmas!
