BREAD GIRL
I went to a situationist art performance yesterday. The description of the event was: She puts on a suit made of bread and lies in a field and hopefully the birds eat her suit and not her. Fun!
Riding my bike to the park at the designated time, I saw other hipsters mingling in small groups. There were some video cameras set up. Clearly I was in the right place. Ten minutes later she was spotted ambling slowly down Main St., dressed in this enormous breadsuit that made her look like the Stay-Puff’d marshmallow man, or some kind of chunky, B-movie Martian. The alien angle was accentuated by a guy using some sort of theremin-esque knob-twiddly gizmo to make spooky outer-space noises.
A man dressed in a tuxedo was pulling a wagon filled with bread, handing it out to the spectators and telling us “It’s for the birds.” There were a few seagulls circling. The breadgirl made her way to the center of a ring of benches, and we began tearing off pieces of our loaves and throwing them at her, “feeding the birds.” She stood in the centre of the circle with an absurd grin on her face, a rictus of ecstatic satiation.
The breadsuit was amazing.
The tuxedoed gentleman occasionally shouted “They’re coming! They’re coming!” In reference to the birds, presumably, which had still shown no interest in the bounty.